Owned by FPS_Tony

Desert in Counter-Strike

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 21:29:00 +0000

Progress pictures as of 11-1-07:

I think I did the center stairs justice.

From here you can see the passageway into the lower ammo bunker.

See that red highlighted block? I might leave that there as a prime sniper spot, since you can see a whole lot of the map from up there. The tall, thin crimson blocks are ladders.

The purple boxes are spawn points.

That's the lower ammo bunker from above.

Halo 3: A Cathedral Erected of Win and Awesome

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 22:55:00 +0000

Halo 3 made $170 million on its first day out.

In comparison, here's a picture of the PS3 doing what it does best:

$1,000 well-spent. That's right. $1,000. That's what the PS3 REALLY costs.

$500-600= PS3 cost.

The rest= The cost in emotional pain of being mentally teabagged against your will by Kaz Hirai.

Patent Pending

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 03:05:00 +0000

This isn't one of my longer rant-posts, but more of a creative spark:

Keyboards should have a LOL button. Imagine how much effort that would save. Press one button and BAM! You've just told someone that you don't care what they just said.

I'll be visiting the patent office soon..

"69 Percent of American Heads-of-Households are Miserable Addicts"

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 00:32:00 +0000

According to a rather flattering discovery by the now-laughable American Medical Association, video games are being considered on the same level as cocaine, heroin, and other addiction-causing bad things. That's right.

VIDEO GAMES ARE ADDICTIVE, DESTROY FAMILIES, AND DESTROY LIVES.

-Stupid as hell news article, 2007.

You know what I say to that article?
ROFL.

Take a few minutes to read this article. Seriously. It's a good laugh.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-flasands0621nbjun21,0,771832.story?coll=sfla-news-sfla

See? Hilarious. This is my exact reply in that forum:

"I seriously laughed out loud when I read this article in the newspaper. I think it's hilarious how ignorant the general public can be to technologies they don't use. Ask an uncle who doesn't know about archery to buy you a bow and he thinks you're a violent maniac. I compare this to ADD. There's almost no proof it exists, yet it's backed by the AMA and there are plenty of drugs available to "cure" it.
You got a kid who acts up too much? BAM! Slap on the ADD label and milk it for all it's worth.
Got a kid who prefers his favorite strategy game over you, his bad parents? BAM! You can slap on him your new mental disorder. And now you don't have to do anything about it! Or you could give him drugs for a condition that's purely arbitrary... Out of spite maybe? Who knows.I play plenty of video games every day and my IQ is 136. I wonder how many crack addicts are that intelligent."

It really is 136. I'm reasonably sure. At least, that's what I got on one of my IQ tests...

Oh, and according to the ESA, 69% of American heads of households play video games regularly. I challenge any drug company to force it down America's throat that nearly 3/4ths of all American homeowning adults are miserable, friendless, antisocial addicts.

OMG THE GOVERMENT BLEW UP TOWERS ON 911

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 05:37:00 +0000

It's late right now, and I'll edit this later, so I'll sum this up:

Rosie O'Donell can go fuck herself with a belt sander.
All 9/11 conspiracists are like Christians: They think they're right and they've got no proof of anything (except for THE BIBLE/ LOOSE CHANGE).
Atheists who believe in bullshit like the 9/11 conspiracy should first convert to scientology and then be shot at least 69 times.
Maddox should be made President, so we can finally initiate a ball-smashing campaign against conspiracist dipshits everywhere.
DragonForce is awesome.

Some More Screenshots to be Amazed by

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 03:49:00 +0000

This is what came out of a LONG day with some friends at my house. They just wanted to watch me play because everyone at my house and everyone in the game agreed that I am a fucking steamroller when it comes to Halo PC.

Dude. Blaze sucks.

So far no one has accused me of editing these pictures, but rest assured, there are at least 3 people in EVERY game I play who accuse me of hacking. No one ever realizes that I get this many kills because:

A) The game was 3 hours long,
B) Most people eventually quit and lose all their kills,
C) I play really well,
D) Usually no one in the whole game except for me knows how to kill a cheap spawn-killer.

Besides that work of art, here's something that my cheap Norton Internet Security had to warn me about:

(Click on picture for a larger version)

(Larger version does not work. Gah.

It thinks Internet Explorer is malicious programming.)

Oh man. Despite the fact that that was a few months ago, I dug it up today and I had to laugh again at the relationship between Internet Explorer and Norton.

Gradius 3 and Halo 3.

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 20:03:00 +0000

I read Maddox's article on Ikaruga (again), and I decided I should look for some other ball-smashing games. And I found one- on the SNES- called Gradius 3. I'll use a simple explanation of why this game is so awesome: The game was immediately pulled from arcades because it was so hard. Even though I beat the game in Hard mode, I still played it on an emulator and used state saves to beat it just to get to the ending. It's impossible to win the game all in one run without dying once. If you like Galaga, this game is for you.

On another note, I GOT INTO THE HALO 3 BETA PROGRAM!! AWESOME!!! HAHAHA!!!

I (don't) feel sorry for everyone who wasn't in the first 13,333. I actually registered at about 4:00 PM on the first day. Suck on that, Crackdown noobs.

You, unlike me, will not get to play until late 2007, unless you buy Crapdown. Hah.

I HATE THE IRS.

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 01:09:00 +0000

"Sometime in the next few months, the Joint Economic Committee of Congress will publish a report regarding the economies of World of Warcraft, Second Life, and other massively multiplayer online games (MMOs). And the report's number-one question will be: Do real-world tax laws apply to virtual transactions?"Source: PC World, March 2007, "Virtual Gold Could Draw Real Taxes"

Ask ANY gamer in the world and you will get a response much like this one:

HELL NO.

The MMO economy created annually is estimated to be between 1 and 10 billion dollars. And according to our great congressmen, every single penny of it is taxable.

I swear, I thought I've read disgusting things before (see my previous post), but this is by far the most horrible thing I've ever read. The Congress, not content with its outrageous spending on $20,000 mini-fridges and multi-million dollar offices, has decided that it wants even more money. It's like dangling a few acres of real estate in Donald Trump's face; despite the fact that he's got more real estate than maybe 99% of all Americans, he doesn't care-- he'll take it from you anyway.

I can understand raising taxes on people (I am NOT supporting higher taxes; I'm using this as a reference), but TAXING THINGS YOU GET IN A GAME? It's amazing how a few lines of code are worth money to the gluttons at Congress.

Congress says that since those gold coins you just got from the monster you just killed are considered "income", they have the right to tax you. Now, there's two things wrong with this:

1. You are probably under 18.
2. If you aren't, then it's not income until it's converted into hard cash.

Of course, Congress has got a solution: They want to go by the unofficial trade values for coins, such as how about seven Azerothian gold coins usually go for about a buck.

Let's say you've got 700 gold coins in WoW. Now, that's worth $100 in real life. Let's say that the IRS decides to tax you like it does to the average person with an entry-level job, for about 17%. Congratulations! Congress just stole $17, or a whopping 119 gold coins, from you! Aren't you glad that everyone (except everyone who doesn't work with the government) is going to earn more now? The economy is so great now. It's a good thing that I'm getting ripped off of the quality of the games I play so that some asshole can buy his $25 million office with rare-wood floors and a plasma TV in his bathroom.

Now I normally hate WoW players, but when it comes to Congress VS. Freedom to Play Games Without Paying More, I've got nothing against them.

Congress's tax-money handling (or the apparent lack of it) is bullshit.

Just in Case Someone Thinks I Don't Own in Halo PC...

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 20:22:00 +0000

Exactly.

I Have Discovered America's REAL Problem.

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 01:39:00 +0000

It's not the war in Iraq (for you war-pussies and hippies) and it's not our President (or lack of one). It's this one single, startling fact:

87 percent of all Americans believe that humans did not evolve according to Darwin.
Source: CBS Poll, Nov. 18-21, 2004

I read this, and I seriously said out loud, "DAMN!", because that means that 87 percent of all Americans are being horribly misinformed, lied to, and mentally raped. I won't go into heavy detail (or maybe I will), but belief in religion is like belief in Santa himself; there's no proof, only faith (which is defined as belief without conviction or evidence).

(Note: If you haven't noticed by my usage of Jesus as my old screen name that I am NOT religious, you are a dumbass.)

On top of this, not only do the whopping majority of people not believe that science defines nature and the world around us, but this shit is being shoveled down our throats, too! What with all the people who want "Intelligent Design" taught in schools, there's even public funds being wasted into propagandating this bullshit in MUSEUMS. There's a Creationist museum I read about in an article by Bruno Maddox (no relation to the all-around ass-stomper Maddox, but still damned funny) that advertises that the world was created by God (because it's completely inconceivable that we exist because the Big Bang began the universe, elements condensed into gases, then into stars, then into planets, and then the planet was fertilized with ancient organic material which evolved into the first microorganisms that evolved over the course of some few BILLION years, which gradually changed into the species that inhabit the Earth now).

As for all the undiscovered parts of the story (Like, what drove the Big Bang to occur?), no religious person in the world can explain it, so they prefer to explain how an omnipotent being created everything in the universe so they don't have to formulate something intelligent-sounding.

But this is where science defeats religion: Science attempts to explain things, while religion does not; it prefers to use the cop-out of "some guy decided to make everything how it is now, so you can't argue with that, or he won't like you."

If 87 percent of all Americans think that either God created humans as they are now or that God played a role in creating humans, then I am smarter than 87 percent of all Americans. And if some high-school kid who plays Halo in his free time is smarter than 87 percent of Americans, then I think America has a problem. Kind of like a shotgun blast in the face from point-blank is a problem.

Ive Got the Next President Right Here.

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 02:49:00 +0000


FPS Doug's got no competition against n00bs like Hilary Feminist Whore or Barack Obama. Except maybe Barack. He'll definitely beat Feminist Whore, but he'll never beat good old Doug. He's almost more important than I am. "So yeah, uh, I like FPS's, Uh, what can I say, there's nothing like the rush of hunting people down and KILLIN em!"

The Second Montage.

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 02:37:00 +0000

126 F**KING KILLS. I kick ass.

Futhering the campaign against generic stick-and-snipe montages, I made another montage a day after my first one. This one's got clips from shotgun King of the Hill games that'll have you saying "How is he not dead yet?", more epic rocket clips from Blood Gulch, and my coolest stick ever: I stuck a moving Ghost from underneath it. You have to see it, it's toward the end. This song kicks ass too: Bulls on Parade by RAtM again.

The Montage of Jesus

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 07:01:00 +0000

Or, as the formal name is, "Jesus's Halo Rocket Montage".

One day I decided to make a montage. I didn't want just another montage with sticks and snipes, so I made the most action-packed montage I've ever seen.... A rocket montage, set in Blood Gulch. I used only the best damned song in the world to accompany my montage: Guerrilla Radio by Rage Against the Machine.

(I turned Autoplay off of this one because my more-recent montage above this has autoplay on, and who knows what could happen when the two greatest forces in the universe collide on one web page.)

I have declared Line Rider to be the Best Online Game in the Universe.

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Sat, 13 Jan 2007 03:16:00 +0000

This game kicks ass. What better way to whittle away several hours than by drawing lines on an almost MS-Paint-like square, and then pressing a button, AND HAVING A DUDE ON A SLED RIDE ON YOUR LINES?!?!?!? Even more fun are loops, massive jumps, and those falls that last forever. Go check this game out.
http://official-linerider.com/play.html

Seriously.

WALL STREET JOURNAL UNOFFICIALLY DECLARES WII PWNS PS3

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 21:15:00 +0000

SUCK IT UP, PS3!

NINTENDO OWNS YOUR ASS.

Nintendo's Wii sold 476,000 units. And the PS3? 197,000.

Even the Nintendo DS, a HANDHELD, sold more units than the PlayStation 2 did. Even the Game Boy Advance pwns the PS2; It's sold nearly the same amount of units.

Note that Sony attempted to divert sales from the Wii to its shitbox by releasing it two days before the Wii came out. And what good did it do?

None. Nintendo stomped Sony's ass.

Sony's a load of shit.

Poking Fun at Winows...

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 21:59:00 +0000

I was looking at error messages on the Internet (a good source of Window's special brand of bullshit) when I came across an Error Message Generator! I thought: 'How cool! I can make my own error messages!'. So I went in and made one as professionally as I could, and when I saw it: It was shit. It didn't even look like an actual error message, even though it gives you the option to change the error message to look like one for either Windows 95/98 or XP. Here's an example:

Piece of shit doesn't even look realistic. Dumbasses didn't even use the right font and font size. So I did what I taught myself how to do a few months ago: I made a text list and a template, and took 10 minutes copying and pasting each letter into place with Paint. And here's the much better result:

I kick more ass than that shitty ad-filled website. If you Google Image search "error message funny", you'll get about 50 shitty images from that shitty site and its shitty error message template. Oh, and I even made a Desktop image with my favorite background, and then this error message pasted on top of it, so it looks as if Windows actually wants to delete itself. I kick ass.

Chainmail sucks.

noreply@blogger.com (FPS_Tony) — Thu, 05 Oct 2006 00:39:00 +0000

If you've ever responded to a chainmail, the world doesn't need you. First of all, chainmail superstition is the same as any other superstition: a load of bullshit. Except for the thing about ghosts. Because one time, I like, saw this ghost while I was doing teh shrooms. So that's totally true.
Here's an example of some chain-letter bullshit I got the other day:

>HAD TO TRY IT!! WHO KNOWS??? WE COULD ALL USE A YEAR OF GOOD LUCK!!!
This may sound nuts, but Dennis got this the other day
and sent it off. About 10 minutes later a really good financial
windfall happened for his son Sean who he had sent it too as well.
One of the people he sent it to was responsible for the windfall.
AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH
You had better send this back!!!!
Good Luck!!
I hope it works.........
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always

Fuck that. I deleted the second half.