I Have Discovered America's REAL Problem.

It's not the war in Iraq (for you war-pussies and hippies) and it's not our President (or lack of one). It's this one single, startling fact:

87 percent of all Americans believe that humans did not evolve according to Darwin.
Source: CBS Poll, Nov. 18-21, 2004


I read this, and I seriously said out loud, "DAMN!", because that means that 87 percent of all Americans are being horribly misinformed, lied to, and mentally raped. I won't go into heavy detail (or maybe I will), but belief in religion is like belief in Santa himself; there's no proof, only faith (which is defined as belief without conviction or evidence).

(Note: If you haven't noticed by my usage of Jesus as my old screen name that I am NOT religious, you are a dumbass.)

On top of this, not only do the whopping majority of people not believe that science defines nature and the world around us, but this shit is being shoveled down our throats, too! What with all the people who want "Intelligent Design" taught in schools, there's even public funds being wasted into propagandating this bullshit in MUSEUMS. There's a Creationist museum I read about in an article by Bruno Maddox (no relation to the all-around ass-stomper Maddox, but still damned funny) that advertises that the world was created by God (because it's completely inconceivable that we exist because the Big Bang began the universe, elements condensed into gases, then into stars, then into planets, and then the planet was fertilized with ancient organic material which evolved into the first microorganisms that evolved over the course of some few BILLION years, which gradually changed into the species that inhabit the Earth now).

As for all the undiscovered parts of the story (Like, what drove the Big Bang to occur?), no religious person in the world can explain it, so they prefer to explain how an omnipotent being created everything in the universe so they don't have to formulate something intelligent-sounding.

But this is where science defeats religion: Science attempts to explain things, while religion does not; it prefers to use the cop-out of "some guy decided to make everything how it is now, so you can't argue with that, or he won't like you."

If 87 percent of all Americans think that either God created humans as they are now or that God played a role in creating humans, then I am smarter than 87 percent of all Americans. And if some high-school kid who plays Halo in his free time is smarter than 87 percent of Americans, then I think America has a problem. Kind of like a shotgun blast in the face from point-blank is a problem.

Ive Got the Next President Right Here.

FPS Doug's got no competition against n00bs like Hilary Feminist Whore or Barack Obama. Except maybe Barack. He'll definitely beat Feminist Whore, but he'll never beat good old Doug. He's almost more important than I am. "So yeah, uh, I like FPS's, Uh, what can I say, there's nothing like the rush of hunting people down and KILLIN em!"

The Second Montage.

126 F**KING KILLS. I kick ass. Futhering the campaign against generic stick-and-snipe montages, I made another montage a day after my first one. This one's got clips from shotgun King of the Hill games that'll have you saying "How is he not dead yet?", more epic rocket clips from Blood Gulch, and my coolest stick ever: I stuck a moving Ghost from underneath it. You have to see it, it's toward the end. This song kicks ass too: Bulls on Parade by RAtM again.

The Montage of Jesus

Or, as the formal name is, "Jesus's Halo Rocket Montage". One day I decided to make a montage. I didn't want just another montage with sticks and snipes, so I made the most action-packed montage I've ever seen.... A rocket montage, set in Blood Gulch. I used only the best damned song in the world to accompany my montage: Guerrilla Radio by Rage Against the Machine. (I turned Autoplay off of this one because my more-recent montage above this has autoplay on, and who knows what could happen when the two greatest forces in the universe collide on one web page.)

I have declared Line Rider to be the Best Online Game in the Universe.

This game kicks ass. What better way to whittle away several hours than by drawing lines on an almost MS-Paint-like square, and then pressing a button, AND HAVING A DUDE ON A SLED RIDE ON YOUR LINES?!?!?!? Even more fun are loops, massive jumps, and those falls that last forever. Go check this game out.
http://official-linerider.com/play.html

Seriously.